The Conversation

This book is about the cultural conversation we’re having about love and romance right now – a discussion that has become narrowed over time to the point of ridiculousness.

Irritated Girl

Rather than actually looking at the terms of this conversation and precisely how the public discussion is being framed, however, we often just assume this is the ‘way things are’ – moving forward to learn skills necessary to ‘survive’ in today’s dating culture.

I think we can do better. I think we have to do better.

The culture is messing with our heads – and with our hearts – leaving otherwise beautiful couples wondering what hit them. And this isn’t just my opinion! In 2007, the American Psychological Association released a report emphasizing the impact of ongoing cultural changes in relation to romance and beauty. That report states: “exposure to narrow ideals of female attractiveness may make it difficult for some men to find an acceptable partner or to fully enjoy intimacy with a female partner” – adding that “many individuals have become uncomfortable with ‘real bodies.’”

Praying businessman

One therapist concluded that people have become “so accustomed to the high levels of visual novelty and stimulation, that they’re unable to focus on … real [human beings]” – with two other authors highlighting an “eroding individual appreciation of the unaltered human form” where “suddenly a normal [person’s] body looks abnormal.”

If this is happening, then what does it mean for our chances to find lasting love?  How exactly are surrounding cultural changes impacting relationships – and is there anything we can do to reverse the process?  If not, are there ways to relate to this culture more skillfully in a way that protects our relationships from unnecessary harm?

Those are the questions taken up in this book – a product of 7 years of inquiry and research (and many more years of making mistakes).  I would love to hear your own story – and your response to what you hear.

Who knows – maybe starting a different kind of conversation could end up being a revolutionary act. What do you say…are you IN!?
Light steps